When it was evening, Jesus took his place with the twelve;
and while they were eating, he said, “Truly I tell you, one of you will betray me.”
And they became greatly distressed and
began to say to him one after another, “Surely not I, Lord?”
Jesus answered, “The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl
with me will betray me.
(Matthew 26:20-23)

For three years they have journeyed together – fishermen, tax collector, zealot – an unlikely collection of individuals bound together by their belief in the teachings of Jesus. They were friends celebrating the Passover, remembering the Exodus story of deliverance, eating bitter herbs and unleavened bread. It was a moment to relax into the community they had formed.

It’s the portrayal of this intimate moment among friends that makes the words of Jesus particularly startling and painful. While at table with his closest community, Jesus announces the upcoming betrayal. He even claims that the betrayer has dipped his hand in the same bowl with him. That begs the question, whose hand exactly? We assume and believe it to be Judas. But if I recall, was it not the norm for everyone to dip their hand in the same bowl when eating? According to Mediterranean and Jewish tradition, dipping their hands or bread into the same communal bowl while eating was a practice that symbolized closeness, equality and shared fellowship. “One of you will betray me?” This perfect night among friends took a disorienting and deadly turn. The communal and, I imagine chaotic, response was quick – surely not I, Lord?

It’s frankly not clear to the disciples who it was who would betray Jesus – it could be anyone of them. I imagine the energy at that moment. Two things stand out to me. First, the quick denials of the disciples invite us to consider their motives and the strength of their loyalties. Although it is Judas who is the protagonist of the betrayal that delivers Jesus to the authorities in the darkness of the night, we know that others will play their role – denying, fleeing, hiding. Was Jesus only speaking of Judas or was he speaking to all with whom he had journeyed? Afterall, the price Jesus would pay would be a price that would pursue the disciples after his death.

The second, is a foundational truth about community that has sustained me. Jesus does not walk out on his disciples. He does not abandon them. He models what I have called for thirty years “theology of the table.” He does not get up from the table. At this moment, he doesn’t even accuse anyone by name. He lets the impact of his words penetrate those gathered. Knowing what is before him, knowing that in fear, there would be betrayal, flight, denial and more, he continues to model what it means to love unconditionally.

So what about us – contemporary followers of Jesus? What about us who gather to worship and break bread week after week in our communities of faith? Surely not I!! What role have we played in our journeys that has betrayed the claims and declarations of faith we make? When have we been tempted to deny our identity as followers of Christ? When do we tone down our convictions for status, money or for fitting in when our identity is challenged by the values of our culture? The truth is it’s not easy to be a follower of Jesus in today’s world. The words of Jesus – “One of you will betray me.” echo across the centuries. Addressing the questions of war, welcoming the stranger, resisting racism, making right the broken places all come with a price. Which of us has not been tempted to betray our Jesus-values for fear of the ramifications?

As we make our final approach through the gates of Jerusalem, we are challenged to consider our place and role at the Jesus table 2,000 years later. We are challenged to consider the tables of which we are a part – who is welcomed and who is not? Friends, the shadows in the winding streets of that ancient city are getting darker. The melodic sounds of hosannas will quickly turn to a discordant demand for crucifixion. The hammering of nails will lead to the cries of the one on the cross. The deafening silence of death will fill the air with a hopelessness that lingers…. We await – quietly wondering – Surely not I!